not well
I don't think I'm very well at the moment, tired and dizzy a lot of the time and I don't have an appetite anymore. I just went to the gym an passed out. I think I need to get out of Melbourne and come back to Adelaide and recharge myself.

It's been weird recently, some things working, some things falling through, good days and bad days.

I have been in regular contact with the admissions clerk at TVI studios in NY. He seems to think there is a good chance I will get into the course I have applied for. It is an eight week program that helps you find work after you leave and that helps you also get a visa to stay in the states longer than 90 days, which is what I'm planning on. I also entered the green card lottery the other day, I figure I'm at the point now where I really need to hedge my bets and explore any option.

I'm so bummed about the way I'm feeling right now, but i know this feeling has an expiry date so I know that eventually I'll be ok. I'm pretty happy about coming home, having some normality in my life for a few months, working at a job (which I haven't got yet but I'm praying for) not paying rent and being able to save money. Also from Adelaide I'm going to have the time, energy and money to be able to pursue my creative project s that for some reason I haven't been able to do here. Melbourne is a little too draining for me to be creative. It's irritating because there is art everywhere, but I just cannot launch myself into it. Whether it because I don't know the right people or I haven't got the time to commit, but whatever it is, I get the feeling that maybe it's just because I don't WANT to take part. The past two years have left a massive dent in my artistic ego, I'm doubting my abilities and my talent, which is something I have never felt as badly as I do here. I'm become this person who lives with cotton wool in her head. I forgot one of my best friends birthdays yesterday...I'm such an asshole.